The honest lessons triplet motherhood taught me about slowing down, mental health, self-worth, and finding joy in the chaos
Motherhood has changed me in more ways than I ever imagined.
Before becoming a mom, I thought success looked like productivity, checking boxes, and accomplishing more every day. Then I became a mother to triplets, and suddenly life asked something entirely different of me.
It asked me to:
- Slow down.
- To soften.
- To let go of perfection.
- To survive hard seasons.
- To find joy in small moments.
These are some of the biggest lessons motherhood has taught me so far.
1. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
One of the first lessons motherhood taught me was that not everything needs to be a battle.
- Kids get dirty.
- They share drinks.
- They drop snacks on the floor and still somehow want to eat them five seconds later.
Before motherhood, some of those things probably would have bothered me more. But now? I’ve realized peace is often more valuable than perfection.
Not every moment needs correcting.
Sometimes childhood looks messy, and that’s okay.
2. Slow Down
This is a lesson I constantly have to remind myself of.
Before kids, I measured the success of my day by how much I accomplished. Productivity made me feel valuable.
Now success looks very different.
Success looks like:
- Healthy kids.
- Regulated emotions.
- Laughter.
- Snuggles.
- A calm bedtime.
- A peaceful afternoon.
Motherhood taught me that not every season is meant for hustle.
Sometimes slowing down is the accomplishment.
Slowing down has also helped me focus more on the routines that keep our days running more smoothly with toddlers, instead of trying to accomplish everything perfectly.
3. Be Present
It really does go fast.
Some days feel painfully long, but somehow the years move incredibly quickly.
I feel like yesterday I was at the ultrasound appointment finding out we were having triplets, and now I have almost 3.5-year-old toddlers asking questions nonstop and becoming little independent humans.
Motherhood taught me to pause more often.
- To sit on the floor and play.
- To listen to the silly stories.
- To soak in bedtime cuddles a little longer.
Because these moments pass before we’re ready.
4. Prioritize Time for Yourself
This one is still hard for me.
So many people depend on me every day, my children, my husband, my Dad, our home, our routines.
But motherhood taught me that constantly pouring from an empty cup helps no one.
“Me time” looks different these days.
Sometimes it’s:
- A quiet cup of coffee before everyone wakes up
- Watching a TV show in silence
- Taking a nap during nap time
- Getting a pedicure
- Sitting in the car for five extra quiet minutes
Tiny moments matter too.
5. Don’t Judge Other Parents
Before becoming a parent, I admit that sometimes I judged other parents.
I think many of us do before we truly understand how hard parenting can be.
Now?
I have nothing but admiration for parents doing whatever they need to do to make it through the day.
- Motherhood taught me that every child is different.
- Every family is different.
- Every parent is carrying something invisible.
We truly never know what someone else is navigating behind closed doors.
6. Ask for Help
Asking for help did not come naturally to me.
I was raised to be independent. As an only daughter and later my mother’s caregiver, I learned to carry a lot on my own.
But triplet motherhood humbled me quickly.
One of the greatest lessons motherhood taught me was to accept help when it’s offered.
People want to help.
Accepting support does not make you weak. It makes you human.
7. Lower Your Expectations
Motherhood taught me that output and success look different in this season of life.
My to-do list never ends. There is always
- More laundry.
- More dishes.
- More emails.
- More things I “should” be doing.
My to-do list never ends, and I know I’m not alone in carrying the mental load many mothers quietly carry every day.
But I’ve learned to go easier on myself.
Some days, getting one important thing done is enough.
And honestly? Some days, simply keeping everyone fed, safe, and loved is enough, too.
8. Accept the Season You’re In
This has been one of the hardest lessons motherhood has taught me.
- I desperately want to work more.
- To contribute financially in a bigger way.
- To feel independent again.
And if I’m being honest, there are moments where being financially dependent on my spouse feels emotionally difficult for me.
There’s a lot of self-worth tied to income in our society, especially for women who were once highly career-driven. It’s amazing how motherhood can completely reshape your identity in ways you never expected.
But childcare costs are incredibly high right now, especially with multiples.
And sometimes the season we are in simply requires different priorities.
Motherhood taught me that seasons are temporary.
This season may not look the way I imagined, but it still has value.
9. Go Easy on Yourself
Motherhood taught me to speak to myself more gently.
I grew and carried three humans. My body survived pregnancy, NICU life, postpartum recovery, sleep deprivation, anxiety, and the daily chaos of raising toddlers.
That deserves grace.
Some days I still feel like I’m not doing enough.
But motherhood taught me that perfection was never the goal. Love was.
10. Taking Care of My Mental Health Makes Me a Better Mother
This one felt scary to talk about for a long time.
After becoming a mother, my anxiety became harder to manage. The tools that once helped me: yoga, meditation, long walks, quiet routines, suddenly became difficult, if not impossible, to fit into daily life with three small children.
But the anxiety was still there.
And honestly, it was getting worse.
A lot of my anxiety intensified after our NICU experience, and it took me time to fully understand how becoming a NICU parent changed me emotionally, too.
Talking to my doctor and starting anxiety medication was not giving up.
It was taking care of myself.
Motherhood taught me that mental health matters just as much as physical health.
And for me, accepting help in this form allowed me to become more present, calmer, and happier as a mother.
There is no shame in needing support.
Along the way, a few online communities and resources helped me feel less alone in both motherhood and the NICU journey. They are:
Graham’s Foundation – This site offers educational resources, and stories from other families reminded me that the emotional side of prematurity deserves just as much care and attention as the medical side.
Dear NICU Mama – Another resource that deeply resonated with me was Dear NICU Mama. Their honest conversations around NICU trauma, motherhood, anxiety, and healing helped put words to feelings I struggled to explain. Sometimes simply reading stories from other NICU moms made me feel seen during some very isolating seasons.
Final Thoughts
Motherhood has stretched me, humbled me, softened me, and challenged me in ways I never expected.
Especially as a mom of triplets, I’ve learned that survival seasons are real, but so is growth.
And maybe the biggest lesson motherhood taught me is this:
You don’t have to do it perfectly to be a good mother. You just have to keep showing up with love.
FAQs
What does motherhood teach you?
Motherhood teaches patience, flexibility, resilience, compassion, and the importance of slowing down and being present in everyday moments.
How does becoming a mother change you?
Becoming a mother can completely reshape your priorities, identity, relationships, and definition of success. Many mothers experience emotional and personal growth through motherhood.
What are the challenges of being a triplet mom?
Being a triplet mom comes with unique challenges including sleep deprivation, financial strain, time management, mental load, and balancing the needs of multiple children at once.
Is it normal to struggle with mental health after having children?
Yes. Many mothers experience anxiety, overwhelm, or postpartum mental health challenges after having children. Seeking support from a doctor or therapist is common and important.
Why is self-care important for mothers?
Self-care helps mothers recharge emotionally and physically so they can better care for themselves and their families. Even small moments of rest and quiet can make a difference.
